Hearing Ourselves Again

Discernment in the Age of Information

It has become commonplace to complain about the modern age…

Technology is ruining childhood.

Social media is destroying attention spans.

AI is going to replace us all.

Children don’t play outside anymore.

Nobody connects anymore.

And while many aspects of modern life really are unprecedented, especially the speed of technological change, the act of panicking about cultural change is not new at all.

Humans have always feared change.

When I feel slightly panicky, in my ripe old age of 42, about the latest AI breakthrough or some new technology I barely understand, I like to remind myself of something…

When novels first became widely popular, people panicked. There were genuine fears that young people would amount to nothing because they were spending too much time lying around reading. Some believed too much reading would weaken the mind. Others worried that consuming stories passively would make people lazy thinkers.

And women…

“Young women will become emotionally unstable from novels.”

People worried romance novels would make women dissatisfied with marriage, family life, and traditional expectations. And yes, novels absolutely illuminated dissatisfaction. How could they not? Access to stories, ideas, and perspectives beyond one’s immediate community gave women something powerful: information, imagination, and choice. And as history keeps reminding us, information is power.

Every age brings change, uncertainty, and fear… which brings me to motherhood.

One of the greatest challenges facing today’s mothers is not lack of information. It is too much information. Too many voices telling us what is best for our children.

For most of human history, mothers did not raise children in isolation. They were held in villages made up of other mothers, grandmothers, aunties, elders, fathers, medicine people, and wise women. Children were raised within relationship, community, and shared responsibility.

No mother was expected to do it all or be everything, and yet that is exactly what modern motherhood often asks of women. In our hyper-independent nuclear family culture, mothers are expected to be everything, all at once.

Emotionally available.

Financially responsible.

Educationally informed.

Nutritionally aware.

Digitally literate.

Present, patient, playful, productive, fulfilled.

It’s exhausting just writing that list.

And because the old village has disappeared, many of us have turned to the internet for guidance and community. The only problem is this village is a bit chaotic… Everyone has an opinion, everyone has advice, everyone seems convinced they know what is best for your child.

The modern mother is not suffering from a lack of guidance. She is drowning in guidance.

At the same time, we are raising children in a world moving faster than human nervous systems evolved to handle. We now have access to more information in a single day than previous generations may have encountered in months, perhaps even years. At any moment, we can open a screen and be flooded with global suffering, breaking news, parenting advice, political outrage, and an endless stream of opinions about what we should be doing better. Our nervous systems were not designed for this level of input.

And our children are growing up inside it too.

Many parents respond to this reality with fear, especially around screens and technology. And I understand that fear, I feel it too.

But I keep returning to the big question:

Does our fear about technology sometimes create the very disconnection we are worried technology is causing?

For me, this is where discernment comes in.

I believe one of the most important capacities a modern mother can cultivate is discernment. The ability to pause and question. To notice when fear is driving the noise. To separate wisdom from noise, and to stay connected to what her gut knows to be true.

To ask:

Is this true?

Is this aligned with my values?

Does this actually fit my child?

Does this fit our family?

What feels true beneath all the noise?

I think mothers today need information, yes, but even more than information, we need the ability to hear ourselves again.

With love,