I used to think my biggest problem was productivity…

Motherhood Changes the Shape of Work

Once upon a time, I genuinely believed my biggest problem in life was productivity.

Not unrealistic expectations. Not nervous system exhaustion. Not the fact that I was trying to mother, work, hold a household together, and somehow still feel like a functioning human.

Nope.

Productivity.

I deep-dived productivity books like they contained the secrets to a life well lived. I made notes on the morning routines of rich and successful people as though somewhere between the 5am wake-ups, supplements, black coffee, colour-coded calendars, and alarming levels of self-discipline there had to be an answer.

I thought if I could just become more organised… more disciplined… more focused…

Maybe then I’d become the successful businesswoman I imagined I was supposed to be.

And for years, I measured myself against her.

Brutally.

Then motherhood rearranged everything

Motherhood rearranged my life.

Suddenly my days weren’t clean little productivity blocks. They were snacks, laundry, gymnastics, ballet, driving, grocery shopping, tea with my mom, emotional storms, dishes, dinner, baths, endless questions, tiny socks, and lying beside little people while they drifted off to sleep.

And somewhere inside all of that, I still wanted to build something.

Actually… no.

I needed to.

Because there was another ideal waiting for me to fail against too.

The peaceful stay-at-home trad wife, baking sourdough and relying completely on a husband for provision, safety, and security.

But that never fit my life.

It didn’t fit our finances.

And honestly, it didn’t fit me.

I love mothering deeply. Fiercely.

But I’ve also always loved building things. Writing. Creating. Business. Solving problems. Making something from nothing.

I wanted both.

Still do.

Motherhood changes the shape of work

Here is what I’ve learned after more than a decade of running a business while raising children:

Motherhood changes the shape of work.

I don’t work every day. Of course I don’t. I have four children and mothering comes first here.

Some days are gymnastics, ballet, errands into town, grocery shopping, tea with my mom, tears in the car, snacks in the car, someone hungry again, someone overwhelmed, dinner to cook, laundry to fold, and bedtime that somehow takes forever.

But I think about my business every single day. While folding washing. In the bath. Driving. Before sleep. When an idea arrives and won’t leave me alone.

And after all these years, I’ve realised there’s a difference between working all the time and being deeply devoted to your work.

The funny thing is, devotion rarely looks impressive.

Sometimes it looks like spreadsheets.

Sometimes it looks like staring out the window because your brain is still solving the problem.

Sometimes it looks like stepping away because you are fried and nothing good is happening in your head anyway.

And sometimes devotion looks like staying with your children because, on that particular day, that is the most important work.

I think women have been sold a lie about business

I think women, especially mothers, have been handed stories about business that often do not fit the reality of our lives.

First came the fantasy of passive income, the four-hour work week, effortless freedom. Then came hustle culture telling us to wake earlier, post more, optimise everything, stay visible, work harder, push harder, scale faster, somehow be wildly successful while behaving as though we have endless childcare, endless energy, endless focus, endless support.

And no, I’m not saying women can’t build successful businesses. Obviously we can.

I think women, especially mothers, have been handed business advice that does not fit the reality of our lives.

We cannot build exactly like people whose lives were designed around uninterrupted time, and frankly, we shouldn’t have to.

“No one saw the 5am starts…”

There’s this reel by Lucy AitkenRead that makes me laugh:

“No one saw the 5am starts.

No one saw the working beyond exhaustion.

No one saw when I had to put my business before my kids.

That’s because I never did any of that shit.”

Honestly?

Same.

And yet… here I am.

More than a decade later… Still in business, still building, still deeply invested in my work. Still ambitious. Just without sacrificing my entire life to prove I care.

What slow business has taught me

George Kao wrote:

“Lasting success isn’t built on fleeting bursts of inspiration or frantic hustle. It’s built on consistent, purposeful action, taken day after day.”

Slow business doesn’t mean careless business.

I still think about my business every day. I still care. Deeply. I’m ambitious as hell. I just no longer believe devotion has to look like exhaustion. Motherhood changed the shape of work for me. Maybe it changed it for you too?

A few more fun things:

• Reading: I started Brimstone out of pure bookstagram FOMO because I didn’t enjoy Quicksilver and everyone kept saying this one was better. I am regretting it. It’ll almost certainly be a DNF.I’m currently trying to decide on my next fun weekend read. I’m also reading Wild Mercy: Living the Fierce & Tender Wisdom of the Women Mystics by Mirabai Starr and am enjoying it far more.
• Cooking: Midwinter has arrived here on the South Coast and my children are requesting minestrone soup and chunky bread on repeat.Also rusks. And tea. So much tea.Are anyone else’s children tiny teapots, or is it just mine?
• Listening: The Glen by Levi Heron (the edit version, which I assume is the dance version). Mostly while dancing around the lounge with the children.
• Creating: I recently shared a behind-the-scenes creative diary about designing a website for my younger sister, Kathryn Landman of Naturally Rooted Collective.It’s a reflection on creativity, family, websites, and what it looks like to build something meaningful for someone you love.You can read it here.

Wishing you all a beautiful weekend.

With love,